For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge!

Man that felt good. Sometimes when you feel as though you've had enough, there is only one word that will do, or should I say one acronym that will do.

There is much debate to the origin of the word 'fuck', or for those of you not paying attention, 'For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.' The debate begins with the word itself. Where the hell did it come from, and what does it really mean?

Well, many would have you believe that the origin of the word began a long time ago in ancient England. It is said that during that time, a person could not have sex, or 'fornicate,' unless you had consent of the King. Of course if you were a member of the Royal Family, you could pretty much fornicate all you wanted, with whomever you wanted, wherever you wanted. Thus the world was introduced to, 'Fornication Under Consent of the King.' You would have to hang your permission to lawfully fornicate on your door while fornicating as to not have your head lopped off later for fornicating unlawfully.

Apparently, there is also a somewhat different take on the origin of this most unlawful act. The King, in all of his infinite wisdom could order one to fornicate. Depending upon the fornicators this could either be a good, or bad thing. This of course was called: 'Fornication Under Command of the King.'

For those who thought they could remove themselves from this rather archaic and midevil predicament by hoping on the Mayflower and creating their own set of rather strict rules, think again fornicator!

Once the Puritans had established themselves a beach head in Jamestown, they set about creating their own set of rules pertaining to unlawful fornication. We all know that prostitution is a very bad thing and that back in colonial times the prostitutes were punished for their wicked ways. Why their customers were not equally punished is for another blog, or not.

It appears that the evil doers were put into stocks for their fornicating ways. Unlawfully carnalling with knowledge of the for, or for the crime of, 'For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.' Now the cops got tired of writing this rather lengthy phrase on the stocks, so they abbreviated it to, 'F.U.C.K.'

So there you have it. The cops got smart, wrote 'fuck' and it stuck. How it ever evolved into the word we so lovingly embrace now would take far more time and space than I'm willing to give it.

Later though, a singer in a rock n roll band, who was tired of censorship by the likes of Tipper Gore, decided he and the band should call their next album 'FUCK' as a response to Tipper and her group of mad moms. Somebody later suggested that it might make more sense to title the album, 'For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.' The singer, Sammy Hagar, and the band, Van Halen agreed and went on to have quite a sizeable hit on their hands. Later, they hit the road with the 'F.U.C.K. n' Live Tour', to great success as I understand it.

Whoever created it, or however it evolved, I am eternally grateful. No other word that I can think of sums up the heat of passion, the heat of a disagreement, the disbelief of a last second shot, the indescribable feeling of stepping barefoot in your puppies doody, or the befuddlement of the human species than the word 'fuck.'

Now that we know the history of this most misunderstood word, I hope you have enjoyed this latest installment of the fucking blog. It was a fucking joy to write, and I hope you fucking learned something from it.