Oh Wow. Oh Wow. Oh Wow.

So there you have it, Steve Jobs’ last words.

Since Steve Jobs’ death several weeks ago, there has been a plethora of blogs, articles, what have you, about his life and death. There is a biography already published, that chronicles his entire life and all too untimely death, so I’m not going to pile on and do the same thing here. Well, maybe a little.

What intrigues me today, is after reading his sisters eulogy of Steve, his final words. I don’t know how anybody couldn’t be. We all live our lives with the specter of death hanging over our heads. Most of us deal with this by not thinking about it too much. When you’re younger, it’s something that is a total abstraction. It’s a reality for sure, but so far away that there is so much to do that it’s not worth thinking about too much.

As you get older though, you know it’s out there, and it’s getting closer. You start to  lose family, friends, you might even deal with  an illness and  come face to face with your own mortality. For me, it’s always been a question of how I will handle the news of my own, and how brave I will be as I march, or in my case lurch towards the inevitable.

My mom died from Cancer four years ago. I witnessed the stages of her passing. From the initial denial to the overwhelming sadness that there was nothing more that medical science could do for her. Gradually came acceptance and a readiness. In the grand scheme her illness took her quickly, but the reality is, the last month of her life was very painful, and for us, her family, her passing couldn’t come quick enough. All along though, she was brave. My mom was a woman of faith and knew she would go to Heaven, but still, there’s that great unknown of what’s ‘really’ going to happen.

Unless you die suddenly, this is what we all must face. Call it what you will, but as Jim Morrison so aptly put it, ‘no one here, get’s out alive.’ I guess I get some solace from the fact that we all are in the same boat. Time marches on, and our time here is but a blink of the eye in terms of time. Long after we’re gone, newer generations will fill the void, and on and on it will go.

So, ‘Oh Wow. Oh Wow, Oh Wow,’ what the hell? Jobs was in and out of consciousness when he uttered those soon to be famous last words. Did he see a new product in those last moments? Something he’d forgotten to do? Or did he see where he was about to go, and comment in amazement at what was waiting for him?

Steve’s sister said in her eulogy that ‘What he was, was how he died.’ I think that is true for all of us. I think that is what scares me so much. I question everything, I have to know, I need an answer. I’ve read books on what Heaven will be like. I’ve read bible passages looking for clues. I believe, but I fear the unknown. Hard as I try, I can’t get over that.

I’ve been ill several times. At certain moments you feel so bad that you don’t worry, or fear death, you just want the sickness to end. The thought of missing a birthday, or Christmas no longer matters. You just want it over with. I respect the circle of life. I can’t see wanting to live after all of your friends are gone, your spouse, your family. I don’t want to die first, but I also don’t want to be the last, but still, there’s the fear.

Jesus says in the Bible that he’s preparing a place for us and that he’ll be waiting for our arrival. I have to trust this to be true. I have to trust that my mom will be waiting there for me. As well as others I’ve loved that have passed. It’s that, and the hope that who I am and what I’ve accomplished won’t just vanish when I’ve left this earth. That Jesus really does have a place for me, and is waiting.

I hope that when it is my time, that I get a glimpse of that before I go. That when I get to see what awaits, that I have time to tell others what’s there, how beautiful it is, and that I’ll be waiting as well. Maybe then, we can all say ‘Oh Wow. Oh Wow. Oh Wow!’